Miles and Years

The horse I ride is one that hurts my ass. How it is that a young buck like me can make so many tracks, I'll never understand. But I do, I am. Sitting in another goddamn coffee chain in the heart of southern Minnesota writing on my computer because I can't find anything better to do to kill another hour or so before sound check.

I'm intimidated right now. Got a long way to go. I built myself a tall order. By this time next week I will have driven myself all the way to the Yukon to play music in peoples living rooms. Then I'll dive back. shit. It will total over 9000 kilometres.

There are kids in the coffee shop now. Kids are good at making noise. I usually like their noise, some strange symbol of "regular" folks that have real jobs and and hum-drum schedules... Today however, my head hurts and I want to kill the rats.

I'm looking forward to tonight though. Back on the horse that hurts my ass. Get up on an old wooden stage, make some people laugh.. fall asleep alone. (repeat)

There is beauty in this life, a lot of it... But also a darkness. I don't mean to sound dramatic, it just seems like stained hotel rooms, beer bottles, dirty towns, storms (literal and metaphorical) wear on any fledgeling sense of utopia that should be remaining from those youthful dreams I had long ago, when I thought that I could do anything.

I am happy though, and I think with my feet on the ground this time. It's what I love about Springsteen. The thick dose of reality that comes with his songs. Always hopeful, but somehow stained with the grit that we all share. Some call it sin, others call it humanity, or evil. I don't know about that... Whatever it is, it's doesn't seem to belong to a certain class or race. It is what it is.

Is a dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse?

I still dream of highways, I still want to write the perfect song. Desires like these may blind me, but I need them. Something to keep my sore ass off my mind, and get me through a month on the road, doing what I love. Sacrificing all my money, energy and spirit.

Already tired and sore.

but happy as a clam.